


Everything

by AustinB



Series: Tumblr Prompts [7]
Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, But with a happy ending, F/M, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 08:57:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4094863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AustinB/pseuds/AustinB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Break her heart, throw away the only thing that matters, everything you’ve ever wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous asked:  
> Matt rejecting her when she tells him she is pregnant in order to protect them. Years later, they meet again. 
> 
> I took some liberties with this and combined several prompts in the Everything series, so it's not an exact fill of this prompt.

The day Matt has been fearing turns out to be a Tuesday. When Karen hails a cab and instead of taking her to the Saks it takes her to a warehouse by the water. He’s sure it was his own carelessness rather than any ingenuity by the gangster who’d figured out his identity.

He’d told her this would happen, and she’d said they could protect each other. That there was nowhere else she’d rather be, no matter how dangerous.

Look at where it’s gotten her.

The beeping of the heart monitor is almost the only sound in the room, her breathing is so quiet. Weak, the doctor had said. Internal trauma, blood loss.

Matt shakes his head bitterly for the countless time that night and Foggy reaches over to put a hand on his back. Matt fights the instinct to shake it off; he’s only trying to help. He doesn’t know there’s nothing he can do; nothing he can say to alleviate any of this guilt, this rage.

“I can’t do this Foggy,” he chokes out, and Foggy knows him well enough that he doesn’t have to explain.

“She’s not going to take that very well.”

“As long as she’s with me, she won’t be safe.”

“Have you met her?” Foggy says. “She won’t let you push her away. You tried it once, remember?”

“And look how it turned out because I gave in! Because I was selfish. I can’t keep her safe, not even right next to me. She’s the only thing that matters, Foggy, she can’t die because of me.“

The door swings open and Claire rushes in. She assesses Karen on the bed quickly before turning to Matt and Foggy where they sit next to her.

“Matt,” she says. He can’t stand to receive her embrace, his legs won’t hold his weight, so she places her hands on either side of his face and presses a kiss to the top of his head. “I talked to Dr. Jackson. She’s gonna be ok.”

That’s not the point, but he can hardly say so. It should be the point. It should be all that matters, but he’s already two steps ahead, already saying goodbye for good in the worst way he can think of; a way that will break her heart, make her hate him.

“Has he talked to you yet?” Claire asks, and the drop in her voice makes his hands go oddly cold. Claire takes his silence as an answer. “I’ll get him. Foggy?” she says, prompting Foggy to follow her, and Matt’s ears start to ring, mind racing.

He forces himself to focus on the quiet sound of her breathing— _weak_ —until there’s a soft knock. Matt turns his shoulders as Dr. Jackson enters.

“You must be Matt,” he says, placing a sympathetic hand on Matt’s arm. If he could break his wrist without a lawsuit, he would in a heartbeat, but as it is he grits his teeth and nods once curtly.

Matt understands most of the medical terminology the doctor uses, and a little bit of the tension that’s been coiling him tight as piano wire relaxes. Until the doctor’s breath falters and he flips through the pages on his chart like he’s delaying something he doesn’t want to say. It’s not something Matt should know, but he’s too strung out to worry about what this jackass thinks.

“What?” he bites out.

The doctor sighs. “Nurse Temple says you might not know— But…the baby’s fine.”

The ringing returns to his ears and it feels like someone’s strangling him with his own piano wire. The baby. The  _baby._

“I’ll leave you. Let me know if you need anything,” the doctor says, and moves to put his fucking hand on Matt’s shoulder again. Matt sits heavily in the chair so he won’t tear the man’s arm out of its socket and beat him to death with it. He really should be grateful to him for caring for her—them—but  _grateful_  isn’t a word he can even think right now.

Foggy doesn’t come back and Matt sits, waiting for her to wake up. This changes nothing. It only strengthens his conviction. His body is stiff, his own bruises and cuts still healing from the previous nights, made stiffer from the tension bunching in his shoulders and back, his hands that grip the chair arms with white knuckles to keep himself from throwing it across the room, breaking everything he can get his hands on, bloodying his knuckles against the wall, breaking metacarpals and feeling the familiar release of warm, sticky blood seeping into his clothes.

Karen shifts and groans. Matt launches out of the chair and onto his knees at her bedside, before remembering himself and gingerly drawing the chair closer to her bed so he can sit a few inches away and press the call button for the nurse.

“Matt?” she says, and he hands her a cup of water with a straw. She takes a long drink, winces when she swallows and carefully leans her head back onto the pillow with a sigh that becomes a hiss. She looks at him.

“Are you okay?” she whispers, and Matt bites the inside of his lip so hard the tangy taste of copper blooms on his tongue. 

He can’t help but duck his head into his hands, as if that will shield him from the sound of her voice. He takes one breath, and then another, and Karen’s heart rate spikes. He doesn’t even have to listen for it, the goddamn monitor beeps shrilly in the otherwise silent room.

“I can’t do this,” he says and is proud when his voice doesn’t shake. 

Go on, say the rest. Break her heart, throw away the only thing that matters, everything you’ve ever wanted. He lifts his face to her and it feels like putting on the mask. “We can’t—do this. Anymore.”

He smells salt in the air and the muscles in his back twitch in protest against the strain as he fights to remain in his seat.

“This isn’t your fault,” she says quietly, and he can hear the tears in her voice, too.

“It’s entirely my fault, but that’s not why,” he lies. Karen shifts against the rough hospital sheets and it sounds like sandpaper scraping against her soft skin. She’s trying to sit up and Matt wants to stop her, but if he touches her, it’s over. If he moves an inch in her direction, his resolve will crumble like a sandcastle in the rain, cave in around his ears.

Claire comes in without knocking, already on alert and getting angrier when she sees Karen moving.

“Hey, hey,” she says, hurrying over to hold Karen’s shoulders in place. “Lie back. Matt, go,” she orders over her shoulder.

“No, Matt,” Karen protests, voice high and frail with panic. She needs him now in a way she never has before and all of his baser instincts are fighting to pull him across the room so he can lay soft kisses across her face, thread his fingers gently in her hair and promise her that everyone who laid a hand on her will die in such a way that no one with ill intent will come within 100 yards of her ever again. He wants to crumble so he can promise her she’ll never be without him and neither will their child, that they’ll both have everything they want and he’ll protect them to the ends of the earth, but he’s not sure he can keep either of those promises, so he remains silent.

“Sh,” Claire says, trying to soothe Karen and glare accusingly at him at the same time. He doesn’t need to see to feel the daggers she’s shooting his way. He stands, his legs shaking with fatigue and anger and sorrow, and he leaves, with Karen’s pleas following him out of the room and out of her life, so that she’ll still have one.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part of her aches to soothe him, but the fire in her wants to rage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From Anonymous:  
> PROMPT: The secret is out between all three of them. Karen gets hurt bad. Matt worries and feels guilty. He has a talk with Foggy in her hospital room. Matt calls himself selfish because he cant see his life without her despite the danger. Karen hears them. She reassures Matt (after Foggy leaves) that she'd rather be by his side. Plus points if you can add Claire and Karen being friends.
> 
> This one was sort of blended into the first chapter too.

Claire isn’t technically supposed to be on the delivery floor, but she pops in to check on Karen anyway.

“Hey,” she says quietly when she enters, mindful of the newborn snoozing in the bassinet next to the hospital bed.

Karen smiles sleepily. It hadn’t been a marathon 36-hour birth like she’d heard horror stories about, but 8 hours was quite enough for her.

“Oh, well done,” Claire coos as she bends to examine the bundled-up baby. “How’re you feeling?”

“Like my vagina’s been hit by a truck,” she answers, too tired to filter. She’s seen Claire at most of her prenatal visits, even though L&D is three floors above the ER. She wonders sometimes if Matt had asked her to, but tries not to think about it too much.

“That’s valid,” Claire says, and sits in the chair by the window. The nurse just looks at her for a moment. Karen can guess why, and she closes her eyes. She hasn’t slept more than 2 hours at a time in the last day and a half; she doesn’t really feel like going over this now.

“Have you heard from him?“

Karen just shakes her head and doesn’t open her eyes. Claire gets the point and pats her leg as she leaves.

The other nurses check in, administering vaccinations, performing a hearing test and taking blood from the baby. Karen naps between breastfeeding (which incidentally is simultaneously the weirdest and best thing she’s ever done).

When she opens her eyes the room is dimly lit by the nightlight above her head and Matt is sitting in the chair next to the bassinet. He’s leaning his elbows forward onto his knees and there are dried tear tracks on his face. His glasses rest on the bedside table next to her.

He’d tried to lie to her the last time they were here. To tell her he didn’t want her and it had nothing to do with the fear of losing her, of her being hurt because of him. But she’d heard his panicked confession to Foggy.  _She’s the only thing that matters._  

And even if she hadn’t, he’s a book to her now. She knows the words and passages on his well-worn pages, will read them over and over again and be delighted every time. Captivated by his selflessness, the unadulterated goodness in him. Even when he makes a mistake it’s borne of good intentions. She knows this. Knows him.

The hospital’s fluorescent lighting isn’t kind to anyone, but he looks especially terrible— pale and tired, making the fading bruises around his jaw stand out all the more.

Tears immediately jump to Karen’s eyes. Part of her aches to soothe him, but the fire in her wants to rage. Matt realizes she’s awake and kneels next to the bed. He rests his forehead atop his hands next to her, but he won’t touch her yet.

“Karen,” he says haltingly, wetly, like he’s trying not to cry, “I’m—”

She should be mad—how _could_ he have? But seeing him again is like being released after 9 months of torture. A lungful of air after nearly drowning.

“I need to be here,” he says into her blankets. “It’s selfish, but I  _can’t_ —“

“Sh,” she says, and places her hand on his head. He quiets immediately, happy to obey, do anything she asks. “You know this is where I want you.”

He nods and lifts his face to her. There’s fear there—no, terror—in the lines around his eyes.

He’ll do more damage than he could prevent if he leaves her again. She’ll tell him so, later. They’ll have this discussion many times at length. But for now, he’s here, and it’s enough.

“Don’t ever leave us again,” she says quietly. Something about being a mother now, protecting her child from a fatherless life, adds an imposing tone to her voice.

“ _Never_ ,” Matt promises in a whisper, taking her hand between his and pressing a hard kiss to her knuckles.

“I’m so sorry I missed everything, I—“ he breaks off again, shaking his head. He’ll be atoning for it for the rest of his life, no matter how many times she tells him he’s forgiven. Karen pulls their hands up to her mouth and kisses his knuckles back. Matt turns toward the bassinet. “Can I?”

“Of course,” Karen says, sitting up and propping her pillow behind her back to watch Matt carefully lift the sleeping baby in his arms. He presses his nose to her fat cheeks, brushes his lips over her forehead. Tears start to roll down his face again, but he’s smiling.

“What’s her name?” he asks.

“I don’t know yet,” Karen says, and the tightness in her chest releases finally, finally. "I was waiting for you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is bottomless, he’s realized, and it makes him feel both grounded and detached, like he’s floating, falling, yet knows he’ll never hit the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous said: Let's go with the events from 'Everything I & II'. An early morning where Matt (coming back from his nightly watch) catches Karen singing to bb girl Murdock and he watches by the door and just has a burst of feels because he feels undeserving but he's also very thankful for having the two of them in his life?? I just want all the fluff please?!

He tiptoes slowly, because waking the baby is an offense punishable by death, but the soft sound of Karen singing floats on the early morning sunrise as he eases the door open.

They’re down the hall in the nursery, so he gingerly changes into some comfortable clothes on his way to find them. It hadn’t been a particularly hard night, and he feels strangely refreshed despite having gotten no sleep at all.

He leans against the doorframe quietly and lets the scene just wash over his senses. Karen is swaying Jackie in her arms, singing something with a sweet melody.

Naming their daughter had been easy, after all. Matt had stressed about googling baby names but Karen, true to form, already had it all figured out.

“Why don’t we name her Jackie? We can call her Battlin’ Jack when she gets fussy,” she said with a smile.

It was odd, the depth of the feeling. Love is bottomless, he’s realized, and it makes him feel both grounded and detached, like he’s floating, falling, yet knows he’ll never hit the ground.

Karen’s voice is clear and soft, floating on the new day’s crisp air. Jackie’s small heart beats faster than an adult’s, but it’s calm and happy and she’s sputtering a little to punctuate her mother’s song. 

Matt is torn between wanting to savor this moment and dying to experience all that the future has in store for them. Jackie’s first steps, first words, first day of school, maybe a little brother or sister. Matt grins at the thought. He’ll wait to bring that up to Karen; the memory of the birth is still a little too near for the mention of doing it again. But he longs to be a part of it the next time around. Foggy says she was magnificent and Matt will never lose another moment again. He feels those missing memories like chunks taken out of himself, phantom limbs, tingling in his brain but not really there. This is his life and he’ll be here for all of it, the good and the bad.

He steps inside and wraps his arms around his family— everything that matters in the world fits against his chest— swaying with them as Karen continues to sing. Jackie gurgles when she sees him and Matt dips to press a kiss to her forehead, and then to Karen’s and she misses a couple lyrics as she leans in to kiss his lips, then picks them back up.

What trials come for them next don’t matter now. Karen was right. Do you see the pattern here? She chose you for this. So spend the rest of your life thanking her for it, and let making them happy fill your days. 

He can think of nothing that could be better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS I wrote a book called Nautical Miles, an action-packed high-seas romantic adventure, available on Amazon. Get it here, and don't forget to leave an honest review!   
> http://amzn.to/1OzIZHZ


End file.
